League of Sharpe Gets Last

#	Team	W	L	T	PF	PA	All-play	Trend	PPG	aPPG	Streak	Final
1	Karen Williams Conner Mitchell	9	0	0	1,233.27	894.64	67-32		137.03	134.96	W9	—
2	Diggs Spears Bass Jason Moyer	7	2	0	1,253.46	986.77	57-42		139.27	139.10	W3	—
3	Clankers With a Hard R Will Mason	6	3	0	1,386.65	1,114.00	76-23		154.07	157.01	L1	—
4	Tu Puka Madre Jose Velez Capin	5	4	0	1,248.25	1,038.68	57-42		138.69	137.30	W3	—
5	NFCDEEZNUTZZ Ian Spencer	5	4	0	1,181.61	1,119.22	54-45		131.29	131.47	W1	—
6	Liberal Agenda David Bruce	4	5	0	1,108.54	1,271.71	53-46		123.17	123.64	L1	—
7	K-9 UNIT Pierce Freeman	4	5	0	1,096.05	1,120.44	52-47		121.78	118.26	W1	—
8	Club Shambles Logan Gamer	4	5	0	1,015.43	1,200.97	36-63		112.83	114.26	L1	—
9	Skeeze Machines Cory Hyatt	3	6	0	1,081.94	1,174.61	48-51		120.22	122.01	L2	—
10	Too Great A Burden To Bear Andrew Sharpe	3	6	0	1,069.19	1,177.76	38-61		118.80	117.20	W1	—
11	ThatH0nkyTonk McConkeyD0nk Bryan Provenzano	2	7	0	1,011.56	1,231.56	37-62		112.40	111.68	L3	—
12	Secretary of War Josh Stubblefield	2	7	0	881.34	1,236.93	19-80		97.93	98.99	L4	—

PF = points scored, not personality. PA = points allowed, also known as “schedule luck for people who cannot shut up”. All-play = your record if you played everyone every week. aPPG = the same games re-scored under today's rules (how). Rank = regular season (W%, then PF). Final = ESPN's rank after the playoffs.

Commissioner edition · 2026 · week 9 · Week 9 Power Rankings: 9-0 and Ruthless, While Two Benches Just Lost Two Winnable Games

1. 1Karen Williams Conner Mitchell· Karen Williams stayed perfect at 9-0, trailing Liberal Agenda 17.0–9.15 entering the Sunday early games and still walking away with a 153.58–119.45 win — a 34.13-point beatdown and the week's top score. An 88.44-point Sunday late window (65.14 to 153.58) did the real damage, the kind of number that makes a 7.85-point deficit feel like a formality. Conner Mitchell still left 13.52 points on the bench — Blake Corum (12.8), the 49ers D/ST (21.0) and Khalil Shakir (10.8) all sat — but when you're 9-0 you can afford some sloppy lineup math. The injury sheet is almost entirely bench clutter: Deshaun Watson sat out Cleveland's overtime loss to the Saints behind Shedeur Sanders, but the Browns are already planning to start him again against Houston, while Tank Bigsby (abdominal surgery) remains on IR and Tyreek Hill remains unsigned. None of it has touched this roster's actual production all year, and nothing this week changes that.
2. 2Tu Puka Madre Jose Velez Capin▲4 Tu Puka Madre scored 92.35 points in the Sunday early games alone — 0.0 to 92.35 — on the way to beating Clankers With a Hard R 149.86–130.56, a 19.3-point win and a third straight to push Jose Velez Capin to 5-4. The lineup card was nearly flawless, just 3.58 points left on the bench, with Bryce Young's 25.09 sitting behind a Drake Maye who still threw for 21.51 anyway. The health news is bench-only: Brian Robinson Jr. remains on IR after hamstring surgery with Dec. 13 his earliest return, and Puka Nacua — already a scratch — is now expected to land on IR himself with a PCL/MCL sprain and turf toe. Neither has touched this roster's actual scoring in weeks, so the real cost lands on the Rams and Falcons, not this record. Three straight wins, and the lineup card says this team knows exactly what it's doing.
3. 3Clankers With a Hard R Will Mason▼1 Clankers With a Hard R got embarrassed by their own bench, losing 130.56–149.86 to Tu Puka Madre — a 19.3-point defeat with 36.46 points rotting on the sideline, and the optimal lineup, 167.02, wins this one going away. Will Mason benched KC Concepcion (20.55), C.J. Stroud (41.61) and Seth McGowan (11.95), which is about as dogshit a lineup card as you can turn in, snapping a two-game win streak and dropping to 6-3. A 74.74-point Sunday late window (43.22 to 117.96) nearly bailed the whole thing out anyway, which says more about this roster's ceiling than the loss does. On health: Brandon Aiyuk was reinstated from the reserve/left-squad list with a two-week roster exemption, but that's paperwork, not snaps; De'Zhaun Stribling remains on IR targeting a December return; and Rhamondre Stevenson's knee tendon issue is reportedly worth only "a short period of time." None of it touched this week's box score — this one was lost entirely at the lineup card.
4. 4Diggs Spears Bass Jason Moyer▼1 Diggs Spears Bass beat Club Shambles 140.66–101.34, a 39.32-point win and a third straight, keyed by a 74.24-point Sunday early window that went 0.0 to 74.24 before most of the league had gotten out of bed. Jason Moyer's lineup card stayed clean — only 4.05 points left on the bench, with Xavier Hutchinson's 12.4 sitting behind a Stefon Diggs who still chipped in 8.35 — and the win pushes this team to 7-2. The receiver room behind the stars is getting thin: Jalen McMillan remains on IR with coach Bowles suggesting he won't be back immediately even after the Week 10 bye, and Roman Wilson is also on IR with Nov. 22 his earliest possible return. Patrick Mahomes is day-to-day with an elbow issue his coach called "more positive than negative," and Cam Skattebo, ruled out this week, is trending toward a Week 10 return after being called "full go" by his own coach. This roster can apparently run a receiver room through triage and keep winning anyway.
5. 5NFCDEEZNUTZZ Ian Spencer· NFCDEEZNUTZZ blew past the projection and Skeeze Machines both, winning 129.88–105.86 after ESPN had Skeeze favored by 9.17 points (122.9–113.8) at kickoff — Ian Spencer flipped that into a 24.02-point win behind an 87.75-point Sunday early window (16.33 to 104.08). The win snaps a two-game skid and moves this team to 5-4, with only 6.4 points left on the bench — Tre Tucker's 10.25 sat behind a Jahan Dotson who managed just 3.85. The receiver room remains the long-term worry: Mike Evans is still out with a right Achilles issue that's kept him off the field since Week 6, with San Francisco deliberately managing his return and no confirmed date yet, per NBC Sports Bay Area, and Davante Adams remains on IR after hamstring surgery, with the team targeting a Week 12 return. Both were already out before this week, so a 24-point beatdown of the favorite is a true measure of what's left standing on this roster.

• Data as of Saturday Nov 14, 8:32 a.m. ET. Published Saturday Nov 14, 10:00 a.m. ET.