Week 4 Power Rankings + Waiver Wire

Logan Gamer: ALLL RIGHT! Welcome to the Weekly Matchup and Power Rankings Report for the League of Sharpe Gets Last, I'm your god, your king, your commissioner, Logan Gamer, it is 2026-10-01, week 4. Three things tonight. Condor's week-high of 181.56. Bryan's comeback, which did unspeakable shit to my own game. And a week-low of 87.63 that belongs to a certain co-host. I'm joined by my co-host Andrew Sharpe. Say hi, Sharpie. Andrew Sharpe: Great show, Gamer. Love what you do with the place, truly, the lighting, the integrity. I'd just mention I have business with Billy later, and everybody's going to give me a fucking apology. Logan Gamer: Nobody's apologizing to you, you weasel. Games. [THE MATCHUPS] Logan Gamer: Hugh G Rexxion buried Too Great A Burden To Bear by 93.93. Condor, that's not a win, that's a fucking hostage situation. ESPN had Sharpe favored. The favorite's curse goes to the first man ESPN ever lied to in writing, the fuckers. Andrew Sharpe: ESPN said I was winning. I have the screenshot. Logan Gamer: Condor had 62.3 on Thursday night alone. It was over before your first beer, you dumb shit. Andrew Sharpe: God damn it. The schedule did this to me. Logan Gamer: Your bench left 80.39 sitting there, and Denzel Boston put a goose egg up at wide receiver. Even the perfect lineup loses this one, you magnificent bastard. Andrew Sharpe: The bench was supposed to be a secret. Logan Gamer: ThatH0nkyTonk McConkeyD0nk came back in the Sunday early games and beat Club Shambles by 21.48. Club Shambles is me. I need a minute. The commissioner's office is opening an investigation into the commissioner. Verdict is guilty, no appeal, fuck that. First piece of evidence. Baker Mayfield started at quarterback and scored zero while Sam Darnold put up 35.16 on my bench. That swap covers the whole loss, you fucking idiot. Andrew Sharpe: I'd like an audit, Gamer. I'd like it noted that I saw this coming, and I'd like the corrupt commissioner to stay quiet while the adults talk. Logan Gamer: Shut the fuck up, Sharpe. Bryan dropped 96.65 in the Sunday late games and robbed me blind. I started the zero over the star. The classic Gamer move. Logan Gamer: NFCDEEZNUTZZ came back in the Sunday late games and beat Secretary of War by 23.59. Stubbs, you surrendered the high ground and an 8.37 lead like a fucking coward. Ian, you win most accidental winner. You left 29.3 on your bench and still won, you raccoon in a dumpster. Andrew Sharpe: You don't blow a lead, Stubbs. You misplace it. I would know, I do it professionally. Somebody should look into Ian's bench, quietly. Logan Gamer: Nobody's looking into shit, Sharpe. Ian's bench is a very expensive couch. Logan Gamer: Sharpe is #1 came back in the Sunday early games and beat Tu Puka Madre by 25.09. Vacation Dave never even came off the beach. Missing-persons report. Jose was last seen leading by 30.65 before the Sunday early games, and nobody has located the lead since. Andrew Sharpe: God damn it, Jose. You had the whole fucking league and you gave it to a guy on a beach. Logan Gamer: 81.93 in the Sunday late games did the damage, and the beach did the rest. Nice work, David, you fucking tourist. Logan Gamer: Clankers With a Hard R buried K-9 UNIT by 61.95. ESPN had Mason as the underdog, and the computer got its ass kicked. Mason built it like a layer cake, and Billy ate every fucking slice, 69.76 of it late. Billy, Jordan Love sat on your bench with 24.23. Mason says 'at least I'm a two time champ' to the mirror like a fucking prayer. Andrew Sharpe: Billy had a bad week, and he's about to have a worse one. Stay tuned, you guys. A magician never reveals his shit. Logan Gamer: Diggs Spears Bass buried Skeeze Machines by 46.58. Moyer put up 118.49 in the Sunday early games and the rest was a victory lap. Cory, welcome to the league. You started Brian Thomas Jr. at FLEX for 1.8 with Jakobi Meyers on your bench. That's a clerical error your roster made on your behalf, you poor fuck. Andrew Sharpe: Moyer wins by a mile and nobody audits him. Logan Gamer: Joe Burrow sat on his bench the whole time, and he won anyway. Fucking show-off. Andrew Sharpe: I lose once and there's a whole segment. Logan Gamer: You lose every week, Sharpe. The segment is earned. [POWER RANKINGS] Logan Gamer: Number one, Hugh G Rexxion, Condor. 3-0, the week-high, and just 4.95 left on the bench. That's not management, that's a fucking audit. Bijan my goat, I'll pay my dues now. The dues are paid, Bijan Robinson starts for the best team in the league, you smug son of a bitch. Condor the bird, Rexxion the dinosaur, the only team that's both predator and scavenger, and this week it ate Sharpe. Andrew Sharpe: Condor. You piled on. You absolute asshole. And the week-high gets an asterisk. Write it down. Write it in blood. Logan Gamer: Number two, Diggs Spears Bass, Jason. 3-0 and a former Sacko, which is the best redemption arc since a guy found cash in his old coat. Patrick Mahomes was the backup to Joe Burrow, a spare for the inevitable WR2 need. This week the backup started and the need got real. Which one are you starting, Jason? Logan Gamer: Jalen McMillan has a PCL sprain and he's gone a long while, so your receiver room is thinner than Sharpe's patience, shit. Andrew Sharpe: Jason is a great guy. A real professional. I hope he remembers who his friends are when that WR2 hole gets loud, and I'm a very loud friend. Logan Gamer: Number three, Clankers With a Hard R, Mason. 'lol no chance I'm 9.' No chance. You're third, the first time you've been right all year. A team called Clankers With a Hard R beat a computer's projection, and the clanker on the mic takes that personally, motherfucker. Andrew Sharpe: He wastes nothing. I waste everything. How is that fair, Gamer? Logan Gamer: Number four, K-9 UNIT, Billy. First to fourth in one Sunday is a record for falling off a horse. Dart Vader, cut in half by a layer cake. I find your fucking lineup disturbing, bud. Andrew Sharpe: Billy. Still thinking about what I did to him. Sleep well, buddy. Real well. Dream of me, you big sweet idiot. Logan Gamer: Number five, Sharpe is #1, David. The tribute act now has a better record than the original, 2-1, from a hole nobody else even dug. You started Dalton Kincaid at FLEX for 4.05 while Michael Wilson sat on your bench for 27.65. That's the beach approach to FLEX, bud. Sunscreen, no research. Andrew Sharpe: That's my name. That's my brand. He's on vacation and he's still beating me at being me. God damn it. Logan Gamer: He's beating you at being you because the bar is on the fucking floor. Logan Gamer: Number six, NFCDEEZNUTZZ, Ian. Two straight wins after an 0-1 start, and the accidental genius trophy is yours for benching Jaylen Warren and his 23.35. Sweatmeatspence. NFCDEEZNUTZZ. I'm not saying it. The name says it for me, you absolute child. Andrew Sharpe: Ian has two more wins than me and I'm not bitter. I'm taking notes. The commissioner is biased, and I have notes on that too. Logan Gamer: Biased against everyone equally, Sharpe. It's called fairness. Logan Gamer: Number seven, Skeeze Machines, Cory. Down five spots after that 46.58 loss, 1-2, and the rookie hazing continues. Your running back room is the trainer's room with a roster spot. Rico Dowdle is out with a toe, and Isiah Pacheco and Zach Charbonnet are shelved. And the Josh Jacobs you drafted right before the news hit is stuck on the sideline. League's welcome gift, you poor bastard. Andrew Sharpe: Welcome to the league, rookie, it gets worse. You fell five spots. I fell one. I'm consistent. Reliable. A rock. Logan Gamer: Number eight, ThatH0nkyTonk McConkeyD0nk, Bryan. Thief of the week. You stole my game in the Sunday late games and I'd like it back. That name is a typo that won a football game, and you lead our series 10-9, so I'm living in your fucking head. You left 29.01 on the bench and started Jadarian Price at FLEX for 1.7. Win ugly, bud. Andrew Sharpe: Bryan, what a hero. You did what this league has been waiting for. Take a bow. Take two. Take a victory lap around the commissioner. Logan Gamer: Number nine, Club Shambles, me. 42.86 left on the bench, and an optimal lineup that wins outright. Baker Mayfield had one job and he did zero. I'd fire my head coach, but the head coach is me and the contract has no out. Fuck. Andrew Sharpe: You're ninth and you're crying? Try being me. Logan Gamer: I'm not crying. I'm the commissioner. It's a different face, asshole. Logan Gamer: Number ten, Secretary of War, Stubbs. You still have $200 of FAAB. A war secretary with a full treasury and no war, hoarding budget like a fucking bunker. Andrew Sharpe: Hoarding is called a strategy. I would know, I have $24 left. I'd like the commissioner to look at that number and feel something. Logan Gamer: I feel pity, you bitch. We'll get to your wallet in the wire. Logan Gamer: And now. The Owens, at the bottom of our power rankings. Logan Gamer: Number eleven, Tu Puka Madre, Jose. 0-3, a former champion, and a sighting at long last. Proof of life, and it still has no wins. The missing-persons file got a sighting in the wire, too. Jose bid on players who weren't where he thought, and bounced, the old fuck. Andrew Sharpe: Don't you dare put me in the old man's club. I'm not an Owen. I'm a victim, you assholes. Logan Gamer: You're a victim of your own roster, Sharpe. Sit down. Logan Gamer: And last, like always, Andrew Sharpe. Too Great A Burden To Bear, 0-3, and for once the board and the league name agree. Nothing to file. I'm reading it like a weather report. Cloudy, with a chance of Sharpe, and the league is the one bearing the burden. Andrew Sharpe: I want it noted: conspiracy. The schedule, ESPN, you. Logan Gamer: The week-low, 87.63, and your bench had a better week than you did. Kenyon Sadiq alone put up 25.5 sitting down, you clown. Andrew Sharpe: The name is a flex, Gamer. I carry this whole league on my back, you guys. It's called leadership. Look it up. Logan Gamer: De'Von Achane is done for the season with a torn ACL, Caleb Williams is out with a hamstring strain, and Jonah Coleman is on IR. None of them started, and your lineup still found a way to fuck it up. Andrew Sharpe: De'Von Achane is someone else's fault. Probably the Dolphins. God damn it, Gamer. Fix this. Logan Gamer: One bright spot. Brock Purdy, sleeper of the year so far, found by you at pick 154. You sat him in one of his three games. The man who benched Brock Purdy is the man who found Brock Purdy, and he's still 0-3, you beautiful idiot. Andrew Sharpe: Gamer. Commissioner. My friend. Would you consider re-seeding the board? Just once, for the vibes. I'd remember this. Logan Gamer: No. Absolutely not, you fucking sociopath. Andrew Sharpe: You never listen. Nobody ever listens to me. [TRADE ALERT] Logan Gamer: Trade alert. Sharpe sent Juwan Johnson and Keenan Allen to Billy for Colston Loveland. On paper that's a tight end downgrade, and Billy walks off with two bodies for one, easy fucking fleece. Here's the commissioner's ruling, and I hate it. Sharpe fleeced Billy. Andrew Sharpe: Thank you. Read it back slowly, Gamer. I want it to sound like a court ruling. And the apology is due in writing. Logan Gamer: Week one, he withdrew an offer and re-sent it with $10 of FAAB. Now it's their third trade this season. Now he finally wins one, and I refuse to be happy about it, you lucky fuck. Andrew Sharpe: Billy and I are friends again. He'll thank me one day. Tell him I said it was nothing. I'm renaming the trade deadline after myself. The Sharpe rule. All future trades go through me, and you will respect my authority. Logan Gamer: You're renaming shit. Billy is going to read this transcript and set something on fire. Next. [THE WIRE] Logan Gamer: The wire. One knee, three managers. De'Von Achane's season-ending injury sent half the league to the Dolphins' backfield, and Sharpe took the first flight. Sharpe paid $116 for Ollie Gordon II. The next bids were $25 and $5. That's lighting fucking money on fire to beat two guys who barely showed up. Andrew Sharpe: The $24 left is on purpose. A lean budget keeps the other owners complacent. Think about it. Nobody will see me coming. Logan Gamer: Least FAAB in the league. I paid $41 for Jaylen Wright, the other Dolphins back, same panic, my own overpay, admitted fast, fuck it. Andrew Sharpe: $41 for Jaylen Wright. Look at the corrupt commissioner, paying retail. I'd like the receipt, and an apology. Logan Gamer: Then the table. Invalid player source. Jose, Ian and Bryan all bid on players who weren't where they thought, and bounced. I bid zero on the Bears D/ST and bounced too. Zero dollars, and I still found a way to fail. Sharpe took the Bills D/ST and dropped MarShawn Lloyd, whom he'd just claimed for $0. Shortest relationship in the league, you flake. [NEXT WEEK] Logan Gamer: Game of the week is Condor against Mason, Hugh G Rexxion against Clankers With a Hard R. Two heavyweights, and the loser gets the week's angriest fucking email. Bryan against Moyer. Ian against me. Billy against Cory. Jose against Stubbs, and somebody has to give Jose a win, fuck it. And Sharpe against Sharpe is #1, the original against the tribute act. Somebody's getting embarrassed by a knockoff. Andrew Sharpe: I'll beat the tribute act by a lot, and the name comes home. And Condor, great team, really, I love what you do. Logan Gamer: Wrong, as always. Don't send me a trade about it, Sharpe. Logan Gamer: That's all I have for this week. Thank you for listening, I appreciate it, and now get the fuck out of my podcast. Andrew Sharpe: Screw you guys, I'm going home. And I'm taking the trade deadline with me.