Week 3 Power Rankings + Waiver Wire

Logan Gamer: ALLL RIGHT! Welcome to the Weekly Matchup and Power Rankings Report for the League of Sharpe Gets Last. I'm your god, your king, your commissioner, Logan Gamer, it is September 24th, week three. Story of the week: yours truly was down 16.14 points. Then yours truly won by 46.81. Biggest margin anybody put up all week, and I'm not pretending to be humble about it. Logan Gamer: K-9 Unit put up the week high, 149.05. Tu Puka Madre put up the week low, 88.32. That's the scoreboard — no ranks yet. I'm joined by my co-host, Andrew Sharpe — say hi, Sharpie. Andrew Sharpe: Hi, everyone. Huge week for me — I just worked out a trade with Billy that's going to look like grand larceny once people see the numbers. You're welcome, league. [THE MATCHUPS] Logan Gamer: Down 16.14 to Stubbs entering the Sunday late games. I dropped 95.04 in that window alone. Biggest margin anybody put up all week. ESPN had Stubbs favored by 38.71 coming in. Total reversal. I know, I'm grading my own homework here. But Stubbs was up 16.14 with the finish line right there, and he still found a way to blow it. That's not a loss, Stubbs, that's a collapse with your name on it. Andrew Sharpe: Convenient that the schedule hands the commissioner his biggest win of the year the same week he's grading himself. Rigged. Logan Gamer: Sharpe, I didn't set the schedule. I just won. Go check the standings, buddy. Logan Gamer: Condor trailed Jose most of the day, then put up 53.91 in the Sunday late window alone to close it out — winning by 2.39, closest final of the week. Jose's the one who cost himself here — Rachaad White scored 15.55 on the bench while a lesser back started. The optimal lineup wins that game outright. ESPN actually had Jose favored too. Malpractice Bowl. At least somebody's bench mistake decided it. Andrew Sharpe: Must be nice winning by a coin flip. Must be nice being Condor at all, honestly. Logan Gamer: Mason blew a 33.15-point lead in the Sunday late window against Moyer. Devaughn Vele and KC Concepcion combined for 19.6 on his bench, doing absolutely nothing there. Lost by 3.8. Either one of them starting flips this game. That's not bad luck, Mason, that's a bad lineup card. Logan Gamer: David led Ian by 10.7 points entering the Sunday late games, and blew it — final margin, 16.68, the other way. Nobody on David's roster is hurt. Clean injury report, only one in the league this week. So there's no excuse for benching Dalton Kincaid's 23.75 like he did. No injuries, no excuse, still finds a way to lose. Most avoidable loss of the week, easy. Logan Gamer: Sharpe built a 42.81-point lead against Billy — the biggest anybody had all week — entering the Sunday late games. Then he lost by 35.5. He started Caleb Williams at quarterback. Brock Purdy sat on his bench with 33.23. Purdy alone wins this game outright, Sharpe. Andrew Sharpe: The schedule knew exactly when to throw Billy's big window at me. That's not luck, that's a conspiracy. Logan Gamer: It's not a conspiracy, it's Brock Purdy on your bench scoring more than your whole starting lineup basically deserved. Andrew Sharpe: Fine! Maybe I misjudged one quarterback! It happens to everybody! Logan Gamer: ESPN favored Bryan this week. He lost by 28.35 anyway. George Kittle scored 18.75 on his bench while a lesser tight end started. A rookie in his first season just outcoached a twelve-year vet. [POWER RANKINGS] Logan Gamer: Number one, K-9 Unit, Billy. Week high, the week's biggest comeback, and he's still number one after all that. Wire to wire. I hate to say it, but that's the best week anybody had. Grudging respect, Billy. Andrew Sharpe: He got lucky with the Sunday late window. Anybody could've done that. Logan Gamer: Number two, Skeeze Machines, Cory. Rookie season, already at two before some of these veterans. Rico Dowdle's got a toe injury, in a walking boot, no timeline yet — but the lineup card was clean. Hazing's still on, but that part's earned. Logan Gamer: Number three, Diggs Spears Bass, Jason. Two and oh off back-to-back comeback wins, and he's ahead of Mason for one simple reason — he's the one who beat him. Stefon Diggs put up 22.7 on the bench behind Tony Pollard's 8.25. Wins ugly, doesn't care. Logan Gamer: Number four, Clankers With a Hard R, Mason. DJ Moore scored negative 0.1 at receiver — not zero, negative — while Devaughn Vele put up 12.15 on your bench. You didn't lose to Moyer. You lost to your own lineup card. Nabers, Moore, and Bowers are all questionable again into week three. Bowers still hasn't debuted this season. Get healthy, fast. Logan Gamer: Number five, NFCDEEZNUTZZ, Ian. Heavy NFC roster, six AFC guys tops — and the one week you need a QB, you start the AFC guy. Trevor Lawrence for 8.41 while Jared Goff put up 36.53 on the bench. Won anyway. Ironic as hell. Mike Evans is questionable with a hip issue, and Saquon Barkley's nursing a stinger after an MRI. We'll see in practice. Logan Gamer: Number six, Sharpe is #1, David. The team named to mock Sharpe just finished ahead of Sharpe's actual team. Let that sink in. DK Metcalf started at flex for 6.95. Dalton Kincaid scored 23.75 doing nothing. Clean injury report and you still find a way to lose the easy way. Andrew Sharpe: That team stealing my name is not a personality. It's theft. Logan Gamer: Number seven, Hugh G Rexxion, Condor. Two and oh on paper, living dangerously in practice — a 2.39-point squeaker with Tyler Shough's 25.88 stuck behind a QB gamble that's already over for the year. Logan Gamer: Number eight, Tiddy Boy LaCroix, myself. Last week I was begging for twelfth — give me twelfth, that's where I thrive. This week the same team put up the biggest margin of anybody. Boom or bust, and this week it boomed. Michael Pittman and Travis Etienne are both questionable again into week three, and A.J. Brown's still out for a while longer. Depth's deeper than the record shows. Logan Gamer: Number nine, Secretary of War, Stubbs. You blew a 16.14-point lead by 46.81 — we covered that. Now Jayden Daniels has a dislocated elbow, no timeline, and you still don't have a quarterback. Andrew Sharpe: Never served his Sacko punishments, and now the football gods collect it for him. Logan Gamer: And now — the Owens, at the bottom of our power rankings. Logan Gamer: Number ten, ThatH0nkyTonk McConkeyD0nk, Bryan. ESPN actually favored you this week. You lost by 28.35 anyway. You started Dallas Goedert at tight end for 1.4 while George Kittle sat there with 18.75. Favored and outcoached — that's worse than just losing, bud. Logan Gamer: Number twelve, Tu Puka Madre, Jose. Week's low score, 88.32. Keenan Allen started at flex for 1.5 while Rachaad White scored 15.55 doing nothing. Same story as usual. One bright spot — Jose actually got off the couch and grabbed Bryce Young on waivers. We'll see if it means anything. Jayden Reed got carted off early Sunday with a neck injury, already ruled out for next week. Genuinely hope that's not serious. Logan Gamer: At least Jose showed up. These days that's breaking news. Andrew Sharpe: Old man probably forgot he had a game. Bryce Young's the smartest move he's made all year. Logan Gamer: And last, like always, Andrew Sharpe. Board's actually got you eleventh this week — doesn't matter, you're still last. And you are Owen Two again. Your words the first time around: being Owen Two would kill a lesser man. Andrew Sharpe: The schedule knew exactly when to throw Billy's big window at me. That's targeting, not luck. 42.81, up and gone. Rigged. Logan Gamer: Nobody targeted you. You benched Brock Purdy's 33.23 and lost by 35.5. That's on you. Andrew Sharpe: That was a gutsy read. Purdy was cold. You wouldn't understand real roster construction. Logan Gamer: 33.23. On your bench. While you lost. Andrew Sharpe: Fine! One bad week! Stop reading numbers at me! [THE WIRE] Logan Gamer: The wire — week three waivers. Sharpe's somehow the main character of it, in the worst way. He won the week's biggest bid: $90 for Denzel Boston. Then turned around and traded Boston to Billy anyway — for Carnell Tate and $40 back. Logan Gamer: This is the same guy who spent week one trying to trade-rape Billy, withdrawing his own offer and resending it with FAAB thrown in. This time the trade went through, and for once, he's the one who got fleeced. Andrew Sharpe: It's a value trade! Carnell Tate's going to break out, you'll see! Logan Gamer: $100 of FAAB left on the books — $140 once that $40 comes back from Billy. Still the second-thinnest wallet in the league. Billy whiffed twice on the wire — Denzel Boston, then Dalton Schultz — before landing Jordan Love and Oronde Gadsden instead. Best team on the field, clumsiest front office on it. Billy also grabbed Kaleb Johnson off the wire and cut MarShawn Lloyd loose to make room. [NEXT WEEK] Logan Gamer: This week's games. Headline matchup: Mason's Clankers, fresh off blowing a 33.15-point lead, against Billy's K-9 Unit, fresh off the week's biggest comeback and still sitting number one. Bounce back or free fall, Mason — pick one. Skeeze Machines against Diggs Spears Bass. Secretary of War against NFCDEEZNUTZZ. Sharpe is #1 against Tu Puka Madre. My Tiddy Boy LaCroix against Bryan's ThatH0nkyTonk McConkeyD0nk. And Sharpe against Condor to close it out. Andrew Sharpe: I demolish Condor, reclaim my respect, and everybody forgets this week ever happened. Logan Gamer: You're oh and two and you just got fleeced in a trade an hour ago. That prediction's going to age like milk. Logan Gamer: All right, that's the power rankings for week three. Billy is riding high at number one, Sharpe somehow found new ways to lose on and off the field, and everybody else is stuck in between. Thanks for listening, I appreciate every one of you. Go bench your best player next week, I dare you. And, yeah — kiss my ass.